Honesty

Honesty: the quality of dealing truthfully with ones self and others.


We can BS others--to a certain extent. And the game of poker lends itself to the best liar, only we call it the bluff. There is one absolute. The poker player who wants to be successful has got to have a degree of self honesty. If I am steady leaking and trying to blame it on bad beats, I am probably lying to myself. Even in executing a bluff, there has to be the self realization that if it may not work.

At the end of November I began playing poker in blogger events hoping to honestly assess my ability to play this game in a tournament structure with others who either knew what they were doing or at least seriously wanted to learn the game and apply that learning. Right now, I think I should attempt an honest assessment of my game.



On the positive side: I do love the game, I still love the game, and I am the best player at my weekly home game. (there are a lot of best players at their weekly home games that fill the cemeteries of wannabe poker players. ) For the first month I did well. I cashed a couple of times and felt generally good about my game. I quadrupled my modest initial investment in the first six weeks. I moved up in my limits and quickly shared my good fortune with others who were oh so happy to relieve me of my gains. Yet, I have maintained control over my bankroll. In fact, that has always been a strength. I have played in a home game for over twenty five years. I have gone years without leaking. That was not always the case, and there were some years where I leaked steady. I have never missed a mortgage payment, never missed any payment or lost sight of what was important in life.




I began reading other blogs and I began the exercise of attempting to write a blog myself. The honest fact is I am no writer. Ha! I can barely type.


In the 4 months plus that I have been doing this, I have put in more money than I have taken out. Not a lot, but nonetheless, I am not building a bankroll as I wished or envisioned when I started. Therefore I must decide if what I am putting in is a worthwhile tuition fee. It has taken a bit of adjustment to get comfortable with which tournaments, and which cash games I am most comfortable and competent. I have found a ton of weaknesses in my game. I had almost recouped what I put in in January and February, however I played stupid on Saturday and put back a little more than I wished to. I went into a tilt cycle, but I got out faster than I have in the past.



Mostly I have found that my mental aspect (tilt factor??) is not where I would like it to be. I have taken to following some advise that I have seen in more than one book and more than one blog. When playing on line, I try to limit the boredom, the distractions, and the fatigue.


I played in the MATH last Monday night, and I did not do partcularly well. However, I really never caught any cards. I tried a few plays when I had good starting cards but my flops totally missed me. A, Face in my hand brought low sooted flops. medium pairs brought A Face flops. I invariably took shots at the pot, but more than once was shot down by strong raises. I know I was pushed off of some winners, but I let go of some losers. Basically, as I read back over what I have written, what I seem to be experiencig is a lack of confidence.

I P\played in the Skillz on Tuesday. RAZZ was the game. I think I had pocket pairs over 30% in the first hour. I know for the first two hours I had to bring in almost twice as much as anyone else at my table. Despite this, I made it to 41st. I take a little pride in what I believe was making the most out of what I was dealt-or not dealt, lol.

I played in the MOOKIE on Wednesday. I was in third early in the second hour, but I could not maintain and went out again in the 40's. I do not think I played very well, but it was the first time in a few months that I found myself with any chips. I did not manage them well, but hopefully I learned something I can apply later.

I have observed some very talented play, talented writers, and friendly banter. In Poker I give myself a C-. In Blogging I give myself a D. There is room for improvement in the poker. The blogging my be hopeless.