At first, the bad days were limited to a couple of days a month. While keeping weight on was a struggle that would never go away, he was still able to remain active in life. Tennis, Golf, Bowling, Poker. . .he enjoyed all and he was better than most.
Over the course of the years there were lots and lots of doctor visits, hospital stays, specialists, MUSC digestive center, Mayo Clinic as things got worse. The last few years the tables completely turned. The good days became the exception to the rule. He was always in a lot of pain. Bowling, Golf, Poker, Tennis fell by the wayside. . .all afterthoughts. Leaving home was almost impossible.
We spoke on the phone often-he rarely complained. I wondered many times if I could live with the pain I saw him live with daily. I am afraid I don't have that much courage. Well, Tony doesn't have to fight that battle any more. Last night he died. He was 54 years old and he put a gun to his head.
I think my words are quite powerless to express the sorrow in my heart. I lay no blame, but this kind of stuff always screws up my head and hurts my heart. I know if anyone ever had a good reason, it was Tony. . . still it hits me in a tender spot.
I hope his family can come together and remember what a really good soul he was. I have a lot of grief today, but I know there will come a time where the grief will be able to share space with the somber joy of having been fortunate to have known such a fine friend. Rest in peace my friend, you are loved and missed.
I don't know if I will leave this up or not. ..I feel kind of selfish posting it. It does help to type it out though. Thanks for indulging me.